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:iconminnemanne: More from MinnemannE


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Submitted on
February 12, 2011
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I'm struggling in ignorance,
trying to catch those unobtainable answers,
made of denied words...
Never meant to be heard.

Hope lives in a dream,
where I'm standing on the line,
that separates me from a world,

where I...
           could...

feel sweet lips, covered with unknown flavour,
gently pressing against mine.
This kiss has a relish of farewell
and this taste sticks in my mind,
like a strawberry gum
or unforgettable... innocent smile.

It makes me gasp.

Mad sadness caught in my throat...
sounds like wild and enraged scream,
closed in silence,
locked for eternity...
So... :icontwilightpoetess: challenged me to write something and I thought I give a shot. (This is terrible :XD: )

But I did it, and will wait for some... feedback :)


Edit: I took this sentence away (A dream turned into a nightmare!), after reading my poem like, 10 times or so and I agree... this was disrupting :D
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:iconda-aml:
dA-aml Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Why allways "strawberry gum" why not "sweet mint"?
It's much tastier imo..
And about the "aftertaste", imagine what 'lil bit wind on your minty lips would doo with your mind..
It would blow off your mind, not even mentioning shievers.
Strawberry is bit too mawkish :D
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:iconminnemanne:
MinnemannE Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2011
lol... I guess strawberry is... romantic? I keep that mind :D maybe if I dare to write more in english I use there some "sweet mint" :XD: Little bit wind on minty lips? Outside is like -20°C prr... lips turning blue.
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:iconlilacluna:
lilacluna Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
sweeeeeeeeet...
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:iconminnemanne:
MinnemannE Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2011
Aitäh aitäh :bow:

:XD:
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:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I actually really like this piece, although I'm not altogether sure that the bit about the dream turning into a nightmare works the way you wanted it to. I think this piece MIGHT be better without that portion, as it just disrupted the flow a bit. Excellent work, though! I love love LOVE this, especially:

This kiss has a relish of farewell
and this taste sticks in my mind,
like a strawberry gum


This is gorgeous, for being something you don't usually dabble in. :heart:
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:iconminnemanne:
MinnemannE Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2011
^^; Thank You, and for the :+fav: :blushes:
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:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome.
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